Think.Reason.Question.Pray

Driving

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 03:39:00 +0000

As I cross the state line I find myself on a street I've never driven before. It's pitch back and due to the late hour the traffic is light. I make my way in the direction I feel will take me home, looking for the interstate. To my right stretching for what seems like miles is a vast and eerie field of railway cars dotted with brilliantly lit cranes that in busier times are loading trucks. It's a modern marvel - an island dedicated to moving goods. As I continue forward increasingly fearful I'm headed in the wrong direction, the surroundings become more residential. Passing through intersections with street names I see in the paper associated with murders and robberies I move to lock my doors. The mechanical "click" adds some measure of security as the journey continues. The streetlights are few and far between; however, lights from gas stations and fried chicken joints increase my visibility. The neighborhoods off the main street are dark and neglected. You can almost feel the poverty and hopelessness in the air. The streets are not beautiful and nothing about the surroundings feels homey.

My anxiety subsides as the interstate becomes visible in the distance. I head east, towards my suburb. From the interstate I can see a nice hotel standing proudly. I'm glad it's still open, but saddened by the knowledge the surrounding area is severely blighted. Less than 15 minutes later my exit appears and I head up one of the cities main corridors. It's a part of town that has miraculously survived "white flight" and continues to thrive. A few minutes later I leave the city limits and enter my suburb. It's safe and quiet and I'm oddly relieved at the sight of a cop with flashing lights writing a speeding ticket. Meandering through the wide streets decorated for Christmas, past the boutique stores and library my street appears. I pull into my house which seems a world apart from the desolate place I saw 30 minutes earlier.

My city is poor. So many people are broken and hopeless and have no inkling of a greater world of opportunity existing. They are trapped in a cycle of poverty and lack the educational and financial resources to escape. To make matters worse, the opportunities for unskilled labor with decent pay are slim. Entire communities continue to struggle if not collapse. It's tragic.

I was born lucky. I must never take it for granted.

Winter

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 16:34:00 +0000

Well, it's been a crazy past few weeks. I've got a few stories to share, but for now I'll give an update of the happenings here.

I headed to Colorado at the end of October to visit my aunt. It was absolutely beautiful. I found a lovely duplex in Aspen for $4 million. I'm still debating. It might be a bit out of my price range. My mom came with me and we had a fun time traveling around seeing the sights. I hope to get back that way in the near future.

November saw me fail at NaNoWriMo, but it was expected. I don't have a story that needs to be written yet, but maybe one day. I've got some ideas rattling around.

November also included a visit from my old roommate. I chauffeured him around the city and we had fun reuniting with old friends.

I've officially hired a personal trainer but our schedule has been complicated with the holidays and my travel. However, I'm meeting with her for three months initially. One of my primary goals for 2010 is getting fit. Ideally I'll have a shirtless profile pic on Facebook by May. Just kidding.

Last night I co-hosted the biggest party in my entertaining career. It was a success! We had a great crowd and mingled 3 groups of friends. The food and beer selection was superb and a good time was had by all (at least that's what I've been told). It was a big effort as neither my cohost or myself had any Christmas decorations. Therefore we had to start from scratch! Our tree looks great though. The LED lights are bright!

This week I'm off to NYC for vacation! It's my first time and I plan on being as touristy as humanly possible. Heck yes! I've "budgeted" a decent amount of money for shopping. I guess I'll complete my winter wardrobe update while I'm there. New coat anyone?

Finally, I was able to successfully obtain tickets to Lady Gaga! I'll be headed down to New Orleans at the end of December. It's okay to be jealous.

I know this post is relatively shallow, but I'll post some of my better anecdotes and observations later. For now I'm off to get some work done (on a weekend, blasphemy!). I hope all has been well with you.

Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:43:00 +0000

I'm headed out West for the weekend. When I return I've got a trip for work. By the time I get back it will the end of October. Like last year I'm taking November off from blogging to participate in NANOWRIMO. This year I hope to actually finish!

Catch you in December.

Apologies

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:05:00 +0000

Whenever we have dinner as a family, my mother has a horrible habit of apologizing for something in the meal she perceives as inadequate. "Sorry the green beans got cold so quickly", "Sorry the chicken is salty", "Sorry the rolls got a little burnt". It's a source of constant frustration for me (and my grandparents when they come to visit). She has NOTHING to apologize for. What she cooks is almost always tasty. Still, she can't help but criticize herself and it's so irritating.

Alarmingly, I found myself doing the exact same thing when I cooked dinner for my best friend not too long ago. I was overly apologetic over how quickly the noodles cooked and how the green beans did not turn out how I anticipated (I was trying to make Chinese restaurant style green beans). He told me not to apologize and said it was good, but I still didn't believe him.

In many things I'm hypercritical of myself. I beat myself up over things that happened a long, long time ago. Nearly all are petty and I'm quite certain that nobody even remembers half the things that "haunt" me. I don't know if it's guilt or shame or what.

I was going to try to connect this to some universal theme, but I'm at a loss. I guess I can say "old habits die hard" or something. I just don't know.

I will say it made me think about how many of our habits we inherit from our family. For example, growing up we were allowed to have 3 cereals open at a time. 1 of 3 was always Rice Krispies or some other cereal my mother enjoyed. The other two were generally something that my brother or I liked. Usually I would have one box of cereal open at a time. I would consume it, then move onto another box. When I moved into my first apartment I was taken aback by the fact that my roommate had 2, 3, or even 4 boxes of cereal open at one time. It was obscene! It was against the rules of my childhood! I ended up tossing several boxes he left in the cabinet for long periods of time (apparently he lost interest in them). When I questioned him about his bizarre practice of having more than one box of cereal open at a time he explained that he likes variety and doesn't want to eat the same cereal for breakfast everyday. While this is a valid response, I still dislike the practice of having more than one box open. The tradition of my youth persists.

I have no decent conclusion for this post. Enjoy nevertheless.

5K

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 02:33:00 +0000

I finally did it! I ran it in 29:53. My goal was 30:00. It's not a record setting time, but was great for my first race ever! I'm hopping on the fitness bandwagon. It's time to start going to the gym!

China Scam

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 02:36:00 +0000

So, I don't know how I stumbled across this site, but this post made my day.

If you have a few minutes check it out. I know it's long but it's entertaining. While the subject does not seem to be something that would "make my day" it totally did. The reason is that I was scammed in Beijing a few years ago! Luckily I only lost 50 bucks. It was at an overpriced tea shop where I was talking to two "teachers". I've been so ashamed of this story I've only told one person! However, after seeing this I feel so much better. They lost a heck of a lot more. I'm definitely glad I lied and told the ladies scamming me I didn't have a credit card or it looks like things would have been much worse. Also, I was in the exact same part of town. I'm almost certain I know what bookstore they referenced too. I was approached by a ton of "art students" both in Shanghai and Beijing, but turned them all down. It was the "teachers" from "Mongolia" that ended up getting me. Haha.

Boyfriend Weather

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:38:00 +0000

I'll start off with a few random tidbits.

I have had a friend suggestion on my Facebook homepage for several months and just found out that the guy passed away. It was quite the shocker. Facebook still wants me to add him as a friend. I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about how my digital presence will be managed once I die. Hopefully I won't have to worry about that for awhile.

Being a grown-up now has brought about a lot of changes. One struck me as I was driving past Toys R Us on Saturday. I remembered how awesome that store was when I was a kid. It was my favorite. I would beg to go there with my parents. Now my favorite store is Costco. I get super excited about buying giant bags of Cape Cod Chips and 36 count packages of toilet paper. What has happened to me?

A pet peeve that has come with being an adult is dry cleaning. It's such an inconvenience. Plus, it never fails that I'm wearing a pair of pants I want to get cleaned whenever I go to pick up what I had dropped off earlier.

The weather has changed here and it's beyond amazing. I'm running a 5K next week and can't wait. I'm also finally beginning Phase 2 of my plan to get in shape.

The weather can overall mood makes me want to date. It's just seems romantic all of a sudden. We could go explore the farmer's market, check out the Rachmaninoff concerto, or see David Sedaris speak when he comes to town. I have a rather large list of places and things I would like to do as part of a couple and I hope to one day start using them. In the meantime, I still do all these things, but just with friends.

Until next time.

Busy Bee

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 02:55:00 +0000

I've finally got LOTS of things I want to write about, but sadly I'm unusually busy lately. So, I'll leave you with a quote I came across today. One of the kids at tutoring had to journal about it.

"Each of us has the right and the responsibility to assess the road which lie ahead and those over which we have traveled, and if the feature road looms ominous or unpromising, and the road back uninviting-inviting, then we need to gather our resolve and carrying only the necessary baggage, step off that road into another direction. If the new choice is also unpalatable, without embarrassment, we must be ready to change that one as well."

-- Maya Angelou

Better

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 19:34:00 +0000

I am almost entirely recovered! I was actually feeling better last Sunday, but had a persistent cough this week. It seems to be fading, which means I start running again this Monday! I've been out of an exercise routine for almost a month, so I hope I can still make 3 miles. We will see. The race I was supposed to run last week did not happen. However, I've signed up for a 5K next month. I'm hoping to finish in a respectable time. I don't want to embarrass myself.

Family (my grandparents) are in town. They came over to see my place today. Nothing motivates you to clean like guests!

Now it's Saturday afternoon and I am totally at a loss for what to do. I've been rather stressed on the weekends, but now I've caught up on all of my chores and errands. I think it's time to make a new "to do" list!

Well, I just wanted to say hello and let you know I'm still alive.

Something substantial will be coming soon (I hope).

Illness

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 21:26:00 +0000

I've been traveling for the past 3 weeks. The day I returned I was not feeling well. Things went from bad to worse and now I'm in self-imposed quarantine. I had all the symptoms of the flu, but my recovery seems to be too quick for it to be the flu. I don't know what I have, but I do know I'm ready to be back to 100%.

My sick days have given me a chance to declutter the DVR. I have a tendency to let shows stockpile. Many I just end up deleting without watching.

This post is without any real direction. My head is fuzzy.

I currently have no food. A friend had to bring me a loaf of bread. I'm out of peanut butter for Pete's sake!

The rest of the weekend will be spent resting, cleaning, and restocking my bare cabinets.

Don't forget to watch NPH hosting the Emmy's. He's awesome!

Money

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 12:15:00 +0000

First off, I've made what I hope is the last change to my username. I've evolved from "otrolado" to "freelancer" to "thinkrqp". The goal was to allow you to contact me by e-mail. While this blog is not really that anonymous, I'm not really comfortable giving out my primary e-mail address.

---

Money. It's often said it's the root of all evil. This is an inaccurate quote from 1 Timothy (it's really the love of money), but we all get the gist.

There have been two primary "battles" in my life. The biggest (and the one with the greatest psychological impact) was related to my attraction to guys. That's been the primary theme of the blog and how most you of stumbled across it.

The theme for today is something almost equally taboo.

I have been very fortunate to have a mother (and father) who are very candid about money. For better or for worse, I know the complete financial situation of my parents. No subject is off limits, from what my parent's make, to their 401K balance, mortgage, medical bills, etc. Shockingly, a very large number of my friends (people in their 20's) don't even know what their parents make. For that matter, they are terribly uninformed when it comes to what they should do with money or how much it takes to survive.

Now, I will say that I have a vast understanding of what I should do when it comes to money. The problem is that until this summer I have not really been doing it. I've been a prodigal son.

I do balance my checkbook and contribute an adequate amount to my 401K, but that is the extent of my good behavior.

I like things. Shiny things. I like eating out. I really, really like to travel. I'm not satisfied with a trip to Branson. I want Budapest. It would be easy for me to take a cop out answer and say that my trips abroad were the cause of my over spending. But that's disingenuous. The truth of the matter is that I continuously buy things I don't need with money I don't have. My debt is a direct result of living beyond my means. I have consistently (on a nearly daily basis) made poor decisions about how to spend money. Buyer's remorse is nearly non-existent in my life (with the notable exception of a Rosetta Stone software package I bought at a mall in Seattle). Since getting my first credit card my freshman year of college, I have spent $28,000. I am quite certain I have spent equal that amount on my debit card.

For the past 6 years I've had serious cash flow issues. This leads me to use my cards more than I should. That has finally changed. I will have no more credit card debt in 4 more weeks (well, there might be $300 that lags behind) and will finally, FINALLY, get a paycheck and NOT have to transfer it to American Express or Visa.

My new financial goals include building an 8-month savings, knocking out the rest of my student loans and putting a couple hundred dollars into my stock account (that currently has a value of $250).

I told myself I would be debt free in last December, then March, then June, etc. Finally, I decided enough was enough. Slowly but surely I've come out from under this trap. It's not been easy. I've fought a lot of temptation when it comes to cute jackets from Banana Republic and new clothes for work. I've had to set limits and stick with them. If I can I change my behavior permanently I will be in great shape. I just have to take it a day at a time.

Snippets

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 14:02:00 +0000

I assure you my next post will be something substantial about things weighing on my mind. But hey, it's summertime. It's nearly impossible to be morose. It's ice cream season for Pete's sake!

In that spirit I will share a few of the random thoughts/things happening in my life:

Yesterday my brother asked if I was going to adopt in the future. He wants nieces and nephews. Haha. I said yes (because I am).

The weather in Memphis has been unreal this weekend. The rest of the week is looking good too. It's August and usually unbearable. This year has been different! It's as if nature is conspiring to convince me to stay here another year. "Hey, it's not that bad, in fact, it's really kind of beautiful...stay awhile longer".

I tapped into my inner nerd and installed Dos Box on my Mac. Now I can play one of my all-time favorite computer games again!

I'm continuing to aggressively pay off my credit card bills. More on that in my next post!

Running is going well, despite shin splits! I will persevere and run my first race next month. This four-miler is mine! Haha.

I'm not feeling as fit as I would have hoped, despite my running and attempts to change my diet. I really need to cut back on my ice cream and cookie consumption. I don't think you all can really grasp the amount of "treats" I eat. Let's just say that this week I had a Frosty and Oreo Shake from Baskin Robbins in the same day.

The lesson that you should not be too quick to judge people was learned again this week by me. I feel a bit sheepish, but hey, that's what you get sometimes.

My family may or may not have watched a cheesy Disney movie starring a tween superstar last night. We also may or not have all enjoyed it a bit too much.

Life is good. Really. I find the fact that I'm so cheery prevents me from posting my long, "teen-angst" filled posts. Hahaha.

Updates

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:33:00 +0000

5 consecutive bad hair days = extra self-conscious

Finally having a good hair day = feeling good, but a little shallow for obsessing so much

Running 3 miles, 3 days a week = awesome

Having my credit cards paid off in six more weeks = ridiculously awesome

Overthinking things = the new norm in my life

Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:10:00 +0000

I'm tired, physically and mentally.

I hereby declare myself on vacation from this blog for awhile.

5 Year Plan

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 01:08:00 +0000

It's that time of year again. I've got to write my short and long term goals for my career. This always gets me thinking about the future and what I want from my personal and professional life. Funny, I like how we separate "personal" from "professional" but in many ways they overlap. I'm not sure they can easily be untangled from one another.

What are my goals? I've always got a list lying around: exercise, cook more, eat healthier, build my savings account, write more, read more, travel, it goes on and on. Now I have to think more about the big picture. I try to think about what things I will look back on and regret in my old age. So, I power up my imagination and picture myself in my 70's, sitting in bed, composing a list of shoulda, woulda, coulda's.

Here's what the future me could possibly regret:

Not taking a chance in relationships
Not spending quality time with family and friends
Not seeing the world
Not achieving my educational goals
Not having a hot body while I was younger (okay, maybe that's a bit of stretch)

Using this exercise I shape my current goals. I want to be better at what I do. I want to get promoted. I want keep getting in shape. I want to love. I want to go to a kick ass school somewhere exciting.

Let's see how it goes.

Error

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:16:00 +0000

I guess "On Faith" had a technical glitch:

Downfall

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 02:49:00 +0000

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but my home state had legislation in the works aimed at banning gay adoption. Thankfully the budget crisis has practically killed it. The guy that sponsored it was a well-off Republican who goes to a conservative Christian church in Memphis. His argument was the usual "traditional families are the best environment". Well, now he's in some trouble.

He took sexually explicit photos with his legislative intern. While I don't think this story will make national headlines, it's definitely hitting the airwaves here. He is just one more in a series of righteous lawmakers (who more often then not rail against homosexuality) caught in a sex scandal.

One has to wonder, WTF?

It's very hard for me to understand this. There is a part of me that can understand when closeted gay guys rail against homosexuality. It's a "house divided" scenario. I think these guys think their "sins" may be absolved if they take a public stand. Of course, this usually ends in disaster.

The case of Mr. Stanley is quite different. He is not a closeted gay man. He is a "family values" man who appeared to be motivated by his religious faith (I know from personal experience that the views of his church are extremely anti-gay). How is he off having trysts with interns?

I don't know if I can feel bad for the guy, especially since this was entirely his fault. I doubt very much he was seduced by a 22 year old. Still, he has a family and may lose everything. His other job was already lost when the company he worked for was involved in a Ponzi scheme. Mr. Stanley's downfall is just another blow to the GOP that's in desperate need of a turnaround.

Lovely Days

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 01:39:00 +0000

As I've mentioned before, I have a tendency to think somber moods are the most important moods, and since I've been rather lighthearted lately I've not been able to delve into the deep subjects I would like to (at least that's what I tell myself). I'm working on a few drafts, but they require patience and scholarship and work.

In the meantime, I feel like chatting about a few things that have been bringing me joy lately.

Today at work I had a very interesting training session that involved traveling around the city seeing a lot of things I haven't seen before. Now, I've been DREADING this ever since I found out it was scheduled for July because I live in the South. It is hot here in July. I mean HOT (and humid). Being outside is absolutely miserable for me. However, we have had some completely freak weather and the high was 76 today. It was beyond glorious. Of course, it was overcast and stormy, but that only adds to the beauty in my opinion. Today also reminded me what an interesting job I have. I will definitely miss it when I (eventually) leave.

Non-weather things bringing me joy include the following:

Cookie Cake
"Wonderful" from Wicked
Predictably Irrational
Flight of the Conchords (I swear I almost died of laughter from the episode where the Prime Minister visits)

I'll leave you with a quote from "Wonderful": "There are precious few at ease with moral ambiguities, so we act as though they don't exist". So true. Please forgive the overt gayness of quoting a musical.

Music

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:29:00 +0000

Since I can't seem to gather together my thoughts for a post, I thought I would share this:

It's my iTunes Top 25.

Note: Poker Face was number 27

The Gay Thing

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 02:13:00 +0000

It's only been recently that I've truly accepted that a wife and kids are not a requirement for me to be happy and fulfilled. It's a realization that I should have made earlier, but I didn't. I've had years of wanting it so badly and giving up that desire was no small task. It's been a long road.

In the weeks immediately following my acceptance of being gay I was flooded with relief. I had been edging towards insanity as the dissonance within me grew. It almost instantly dissipated. I was free from the terrible burden that had for too long impaired my emotional and intellectual growth.

God and I were closer than ever. I had seen signs of his approval of me coming out, but was still waiting for an "all clear" to date. In the meantime I was deep in thought and reading all I could from Orthodox to liberal Christian literature about being gay and Christian. I was learning so much. This reading made me realize how uninformed I was about my beliefs. It had started sometime before when I read Stephen Prothero's book, but the desire to fill my gaps in knowledge was accelerated as I began devouring theology.

As chronicled over this blog, I moved towards, and currently reside, in the land of agnosticism. I really did not expect to end up here, but I'm coping. I never expected I would be unable to overcome my attraction to guys either, but hey, we win some and we lose some.

As always, I'm working day by day to be grateful for all the things I currently have, instead of incessantly pining for more. I'm mulling over my future while working to be a force for good in the universe. There are few things worse than being paralyzed by indecision and living a life of inaction and ineffectiveness.

Now that I'm off the roller coaster of emotion tied to coming out and losing my faith, life is a bit different. There are no more "coming out" conversations to have. The only people who should know but don't are my Dad's parents. They will not know. At least not anytime soon. Coworkers will find out in due time (many suspect) but there is no need to have the awkward "I have something to tell you..." conversation. It's not a big deal (another thing I never really imagined I would say).

As for faith, I sometimes miss church community. I've actually still been going occasionally. Also, I remain engaged in study of the bible and religion. It's something I'm passionate about. Maybe I will find a home with a local Unitarian congregation.

As I strive to be honest, I will not say that I don't still think about dating a girl. I've still not had an attraction, but the thought still lingers. However, I'm not going to. I've just finally mended my relationships with the girls I hurt in college and there is no reason to create more pain. Plus, there are cute guys I hope to ask out!

The most difficult thing about being gay for me is the perception people will have once they find out. It's even more upsetting now that I'm firmly agnostic. I can't help but think people (especially my conservative Christian friends) will make an immediate judgement that my sin has destroyed my faith. Of course, that's nonsense. I was on fire spiritually after coming out. I felt closer to God and felt I truly understood grace as a direct result of admitting I was attracted to guys. It was only due to my obsessive desire to learn more that the questioning of my faith began. I read and read and read (and am still reading) which led me to discover that all the immutable truths I held so dear were not so true. As I've documented, the discovery was painful and stressful and severely affected my overall mental health.

I'm finally emerging from all of this. Taking things a day at a time. Learning not to be so serious.

As I've matured, so has this blog. Moving forward I'm going to make a conscious effort to improve. I want to write stuff a bit more meaningful. I'll still share my narrative, but hopefully in a way that is useful.

I know a lot of people that read this are conservative Christians: some celibate gay guys, some struggling with their SSA, and others who are in committed relationships. I hope you keep reading even though we don't share as much common ground as before. Thanks for being with me thusfar.

Away We Go

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 03:37:00 +0000

I saw Away We Go tonight. If you have not seen it, you should.

Dreams

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 18:23:00 +0000

The past two nights I've had disturbing dreams. In the first I was angry because I had to be somewhere at a specific time and was late. However, nobody else I was with seemed to care. I shouted and shouted but nobody was reacting. I was so angry. I think I woke up angry. It was very odd.

The same thing happened last night. However, this dream was much more violent. I had been shot in the arm by a family member who was not at all concerned because he deemed it God's will. He was so firm in his religious conviction that it did not bother him that he physically harmed me. In this dream I was much angrier than in the prior night's. I wonder if my blood pressure increased while I was asleep. It was alarming to say the least. I generally don't have quite so vivid dreams (at least I don't remember them).

I've nearly finished the His Dark Materials series. The first two books were my favorites. I'm finding myself having trouble making it through the third. Still, I would recommend them.

Enjoy your holiday weekend (for those of you in the States).

Weekend!

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 19:33:00 +0000

My soul is lifted, my burden light.

It's a 3 DAY WEEKEND!

Woot woot!

Foundations

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 03:01:00 +0000

The title of this post reminds me of an excellent Kate Nash song.

As I've pretty thoroughly documented, my views about the universe have drastically altered. This is no an understatement. It's as if my life is a house. I undertook a renovation, building on the foundation and expanding a few things, only to make the horrifying (and costly) discovery that the foundation was bad. The whole house had to come down and a new one built in its place. I'm still under construction and will be for quite some time.

I'm desperately behind on reading (as is always the case), but hope to catch up soon. I'm keeping one whole day wide open this 3 day weekend. It's going to be quite lovely.

Since it's the middle of the year it's time to set my goals for the remainder of 2009.

Personal Goals:
Read More
Cook More
Bake More

Fitness Goals:
Run a 4-miler (or 5K)
Continue exercising 3 times a week
Eat less meat

Financial Goals:
Save 10% of my income
Eliminate the remainder of my debt (CC and Student Loans)

Travel Goals:
Houston
Grand Junction
Nashville
Montreal
Chicago
New York City

Happenings

noreply@blogger.com (freelancer) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 00:14:00 +0000

I'm tired. My stomach hurts. I'm glad I can make this blog a place for thought provoking analysis of happenings in the universe. Ha.

I am in introvert cleverly disguised as an extrovert (according to a very eerie personality test I took). While I love interacting with people, I very much need personal time. I've got to recharge the batteries to be the bubbly, happy person I am in most of my interactions with humanity. Those two adjectives were used this week to describe me, hence their appearance in this blog.

After coming home from 2 weeks out I always find there is a huge amount of errands and other administrative tasks needing to be attended to. On top of that, work was extraordinarily busy with the wrapping up of a project, exam for a professional certification, and an abundant amount of activities for a charity event. Additionally, I've had a ton of family and friend happenings for which my attendance has been requested/mandated. While I'm quite fortunate to have a full social calendar, I'm tired. Last night I stayed out until 2 a.m. at a disco. Ha! Words cannot adequately describe how out of character this is for me. What's even crazier is how much fun I had! It's the first time I've gone to a bar and not thought everyone there was a sad, broken human being. This was a festive atmosphere where the aim was to have fun and interact (and dance), not get drunk and forget what happened. It was new, refreshing, and something I am definitely game for again.

Summer has struck with a vengeance. I loathe it. It's the worst it's been in a long time (at least that's how it seems) and I check the weather map daily to plot where I should be living. New England, San Francisco, and the Pacific Northwest are the top contenders. I recently uploaded photos to Flickr and thought I had shared the link here. However, it appears I have not. So, for your viewing pleasure check these out: http://www.flickr.com/photos/freelancer30

The link above contains photos from my recent trip. They are all horribly out of order, so please forgive me. Of course, you don't know their out of order, so I should have kept quiet.

In other news, running has been going well. If all goes right (and I stay focused) I'm going to run a 5K and then begin preparation for a half-marathon. Woot woot!

Dearest blog reader, I hope your life is well.