Restart

I've very been thinking about starting over. Beginning preparations to leave the south. I've called this place home for over a decade, and it's time to go elsewhere. Somewhere where the weather suits my soul.

Whenever I think about moving, fear creeps in. What will I do about money? Well, I intend to be enrolled in graduate school or working for another company in the field I'm currently in. Money is not my biggest concern. Ideally I'll have a few months worth of expenses saved up (I'm not one to make overly rash decisions). The next question is where? I'm thinking New England, Scotland, or out West. I think my big trip for next year will be Scotland. That's where I'm leaning towards journeying right now. I then question why? Am I just wanting to run away? Is this some attempt to find peace and happiness in my surroundings? Well, not really. I've nothing horrible to run from here. I'm in a rather pleasant place (despite how difficult it is to be gay here) and it's extraordinarily comfortable. My biggest concern is failing. I know that's really quite silly. What would I be failing at? Chasing my dreams? Living somewhere new? Having an adventure? None of those things you can really fail at.

I'm pretty content right now. However, I feel a sense that my time here is drawing to an end. The setting of my narrative isn't supposed to be here forever. At least, that's what it feels like.

We will see.