1. Olympic commentators really ruin the Opening Ceremony. I want to watch and admire the spectacle. Your input is not required nor solicited. Hopefully I can find the opening ceremony sans commentary on Hulu.
2. One too many. That phrase is constantly on my mind. I feel like I have read one too many books, or asked one too many questions, forcing a confrontation with the messy and imperfect thing we call life. For so long I had been able to repress the truth, I distracted myself with battling my attraction for guys. However, now that the battle is over my time has been freed to tackle the meaning of life. The latter is much harder than the former.
3. Control. Regardless of where I end up on the scale between divine providence and nihilism, the amount of control I wield over my life is extremely limited. Why can't I just accept it and move on? I am tired of spending so much time planning and desiring control. Like the oh so trite saying I need to "Let go and let God.." Unfortunately, this is quite impossible right now. To a certain extent I am steering the course of my life and my decisions have repercussions. I have to have some plan of action, some sort of target or end-game, dreams. Without dreams we have no hope. I would much rather have a lot of dreams propelling me forward than a lot of worries. Worrying is no fun.
4. Love. I struggle with this. I want to love people in a Christian love way, but it's not easy. I like living in my own little world filled with people I get along with. However, that is not what I need to do with my life.
5. Joy. A post about this will be coming soon.
4 comments:
Hey. I'm new to your blog (got here via Jay's) and still haven't read much of your archives so I don't know all that much about you or your history (not that one can truly understand someone from just reading their blog archives); still, I'll chime in with my unsolicited thoughts. Like you, I’m also in a process of “figuring things out”, so the following may not be entirely thought out or coherent.
Regarding your first and fourth points I don't have much to say (I'm not really following the Olympics and I'm not sure I completely get what you were saying in the fourth point). As to your second point, I would say I more often find myself with the phrase "not enough" on my mind. I always feel like I've got more to read, more to understand, more to explore. Obviously that's quite a chore, and one with no end. Contemplating "the meaning of life" is indeed no easy thing - not intellectually, nor emotionally - and I guess whatever answer one finds is bound to be subjective, though that brings us into theological realms which complicates matters further. In any event we are truly blessed to have been given the power of intellect, however limited, and there is no such thing is asking one too many questions, even if the answers are not always to our liking.
Your third point seems to be tied in to your second. I think the control we have over our lives is both smaller and larger than many people realize or care to realize. The question of free will is one of the hardest in philosophy and theology and it’s one with which both theists and atheists have to grapple: theists, because of the belief in an all-powerful God who controls and knows all things; atheists, because if we are indeed nothing more than soulless creatures propelled only by our own evolutionary biology then how much of what we think is our will is nothing more than inevitable natural processes.
Without limiting or under-appreciating either God or nature, I find both views unsatisfactory, though I make no claim to have any good answers, only rambling thoughts. As to these super-determinist views of "let go and let God" (I think this is the first time I’ve encountered that phrase) - I find that too ridiculously simplistic to be taken seriously, to be honest. Even if ultimately we have no free will (which is not what I believe), not even the most ardent theological determinist would argue that it makes sense to just lie like a golem waiting to be molded by his master. No one lives on a micro-level as though there is no free will, so to then leave it all to God on a macro-level makes no sense. Perhaps it was predetermined and unstoppable that you would write this post, but that doesn’t change the fact that you sat down in front of the computer, typed it up, and pressed “post” because at that moment that’s what you decided to do. What I’m trying to say basically, is that no one actually lives as if they don’t have free will when it comes to deciding if to have Chinese or Italian for dinner, and so to say that “it’s in God’s hands” when it comes to bigger things like finding love, or getting a new job or moving ultimately means nothing or simply means you choose not to act.
As for me, I don’t claim any belief or disbelief, but my view of God is that while he definitely knows all and controls all, that does not preclude free will. That’s possibly contradictory and unsatisfactory and requires a lot of thought to work out, but that is clearly the message of the Hebrew Bible. Take for instance the case of Cain and Abel: God obviously knows that Cain killed Abel, though Cain, like his father before him, claims innocence at first. God knows and controls everything , which might mean he knew Cain would kill Abel before they were even born; it might mean it was his will that Cain kill Abel, though that does not necessarily mean he thought it was good. Nevertheless just prior to the murder God says to Cain, who is upset his offering was rejected: "Why are you annoyed, and why has your countenance fallen? Is it not so that if you improve, it will be forgiven you? If you do not improve, however, at the entrance, sin is lying, and to you is its longing, but you can rule over it." God tells Cain he has a choice, he can improve, he can rule over his sinful desires, basically: dude’s got control over his life. Now I’m confused ;-)
All this is not to say there aren’t things way beyond our control. Ultimately our lives hang totally in the balance and can be affected by even small things we never thought about and could not expect. The poor guy who was brutally killed on that bus in Canada - could he possibly have guessed that his choice of seat on the bus would seal his fate? And that’s just one example from a recent highly publicized case. Of course if God exists, then everything is in his hands and everything is his will, including all the terrible stuff (such as that guy getting beheaded and cannibalized), which is another problem people of faith – but obviously not atheists – have to deal with.
Well, I’ve written much more than I intended, so forgive me that long rambling reply, especially if I went off into topics not related to your post. Oh, and speaking of forgiveness, I forgive you for wasting a few seconds of my life with your previous post… hmmm… perhaps this is my taking revenge.
ophir,
I will attempt to respond in a concise manner. Haha.
First, welcome! I hope you enjoy the blog. I work extra hard to entertain my readers...well, not really. I pretty much just post whatever random thing comes to mind.
The power of intellect is definitely a blessing, although at times it can feel like a curse.
"Let go and let God" is a popular maxim in the black church.
Wow, the rest of your comment was just excellent. It's like we are on the exact same thought wave.
I am looking into the concept of Open Theism. It's quite heterodox, if not heretical, but interesting nevertheless.
Do feel free to stop by and comment anytime. I love comments in novella form, haha!
I'd never heard of Open Theism before so I looked into it. It certainly is interesting though I'm not sure it really fits with my understanding of God, which I guess is mostly influenced by Judaism and more broadly, negative theology. That said, I'm certainly not very well-versed in theological or religious thought, but I do love reading about it. This is what I was talking about, I feel like there's so much still to discover. But I agree all this philosophical inquiry into "truth" can also be frustrating and distressing.
There, that was just a short story as opposed to a novella. If this trend is to continue my next comment should be a haiku and after that I should outdo Augusto Monterosso http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/2741417.stm. But what after? Perhaps just a blank space, how postmodern. Hah, this shrinking post discussion reminded me of Eric Carle's "Papa, Please Get the Moon for Me", which ties in with Jay's post about children's literature, which is I think where I found your blog. I'm sure you've posted interesting comments on Jay's blog before but it was your mentioning of Amelia Bedelia that caught my attention. Yeah, I'm deep - or maybe just nostalgic for easier times ;-)
ophir
Amelia Bedelia is an excellent reason to stop by! I looked up negative theology, quite interesting. Stop by anytime!
Post a Comment