Jealousy

So, I was going to be clever and say that this post does not refer to the song "Jealousy" by the Moffatts.   However, I just realized that the song was "Misery". So much for witty blog intros. My how I had a crush on them back in the day.

Jealousy is something that I like to assume I am above. It should be something petty, common people struggle with. People who can't get their act together are the ones that should deal with it. Haha, how very wrong I am. As I mentioned before, it seems all the things I claim I don't struggle with are my biggest weaknesses.

I fear I have a current case of jealousy and it is a bit severe. However, I think it's jealousy mixed with contempt. You see, my roommate has a new European boyfriend who he is head over heels for. It's ridiculous. He is so obsessive. However, I think the main reason I have a problem with it is because a part of me wants a boyfriend, to have someone I am thinking about the future with. Someone I get excited about seeing online or Skyping. It's strange, because I work diligently to convince myself that a relationship is not what I need at this point. I feel I would be great as a boyfriend, yet much of my hopeless romantic side has atrophied. I feel like my approach to "romance" would be hopelessly boring, my declarations of love prosaic. I don't know if I could ever be overcome with emotion or giddy when talking about my new beau. Maybe this is just my hideously cynical self speaking. If/when I meet someone, this blog may be unbearably sugary sweet as I talk of romantic weekends and jetsetting for the weekend. Haha, time will tell.

Anyway, I am working on trying to figure out a way to overcome jealousy. It seems a fairly decent remedy is just putting things into perspective. I have no reason to be jealous. It's not like I am even actively seeking a relationship. I don't particularly want to date anyone. I am in the midst of very narcissiscitic times and need to get over myself before I can start the process. However, maybe a relationship would help speed up the process. Who knows?

That's all I really have for this post. Peace out.