More Updates

I have been working on keeping posts related to their titles, a theme approach.

It has occurred to me that I have not really shared any updates on some of the more regular aspects of my life. An update is in order.

I suppose I am making progress on coming out of my existential crisis/dark night of the soul. This period has been very dark and I felt very lost. My faith needed to change or it would die. I feared it was mortally wounded, but that's not really the case. I suppose I am working on upping the amount of awe in my life and realizing that the big questions do not have clear-cut answers.

One of the most painful parts of this process is that the "secular" comforts in my life lost their appeal at the same time many of my old core tenets of faith collapsed under the weight of my doubts. I was in Crabtree and Evelyn looking at $16 dollar soap (which I had bought in the past) and I was sickened a bit. The same occurred when looking at the $1,200 nightstand at Restoration Hardware. I used to be able to dream about a kick-ass condo full of absurdly overpriced stuff, but not anymore. I will not say that I have overcome my materialism by any means, but I will say that I have become disgusted with excess and am striving to "live simply so that others may simply live."

I do plan on posting about "Faith 2.0" in the future, but it is a work in progress (which it will always be) and I have a long way to go before I am comfortable posting anything. I would say I am a "freelance monotheist" at the moment, but that's mainly just because I think the label is clever.

Tithe. I have been pretty consistent in giving to the church, but I will confess it was primarily due to the guilty feeling I had whenever I did not give. I felt God was some loan shark or hit man demanding his cut of my money. I have thankfully outgrown this. Giving is now one of my greatest joys and I look forward to figuring out how I can contribute my resources to furthering the Kingdom of God. It's refreshing.

Church. I am still torn on what to do. I am still attending the church I knew I should not have joined in the first place, but I really do enjoy Christian fellowship. It's not as if you can cast aside a core part of yourself in a matter of months.

Work. I am still enjoying work for the most part. It's so strange having a grown-up job. I have been learning a lot and I get to interact with great people. I also am working on a certification in my field that excites me greatly. If I ever meet any of you in person, I would love to talk about what I do. However, you will most likely need to shut me up because I will bore you.

Relationships. There is still a major lack of those in my life, but I am not necessarily complaining. However, there is a slight chance I may be dating soon...if I am bold enough. My roommate is obsessed with getting me set up with someone (apparently he likes seeing people happy). I don't feel especially dour or unhappy, I suppose he just really wants a project. FYI, one of his potentials is extremely cute, but a little on the young side. I feel creepy dating someone born in '88, even though we are just 2 years apart.

In sum, I am going to be okay. In fact, I am okay. I am working to live, love, and build community. The change in seasons will also help, as autumn brings me great joy and I love wearing coats!