Ok, I will start by being trivial. I love Google's April Fools Jokes. The Gmail one is especially hilarious. Also, I should really be working. I am drowning in work. Alas, my thoughts are racing and I must share.
I am currently obsessed with the debate over whether or not homosexuality is a sin. Obsessed may not be the right word, but it does occupy quite a bit of my time. To aid me in my search for understanding I am reading books, reading the Bible, and getting the opinions of others.
Let my try to lay out my thoughts in an organized manner:
I am currently at a point where I don't think that my same sex attraction is a sin. I do think that if I lust, have sex indiscriminately, and/or use sex in a non-loving way I am sinning. For those of you familiar with the lingo, there is a "Side A" and "Side B" to this debate. I am currently investigating both options, but Side B is where I currently am. Plus, I am not actively pursuing a relationship with anyone so remaining abstinent is not really a problem.
Many of my Christian friends and family view homosexuality as a sin. I think that deep down some of them think I can be "healed" from this. Also, they seem to be incredibly concerned that no matter what I remain abstinent from now until forever, I guess. The pride in me makes me furious! Why are they concerned about my future romantic life? They have enough sin in their lives to be worried about! Still, this is the wrong attitude for me to take, nevertheless, my human nature cannot help me from thinking this way. Also, since I am still on the fence their opinion should not really offend me. I also cannot help thinking that they are less concerned about me "living in sin" as much as they are about how they would be able to cope with me being in love with a guy and having a physical relationship.
Warning, I am going to be slightly vulgar here. What constitutes a homosexual act? Is it hugging, kissing, or cuddling? Is it strictly oral sex or anal sex? FYI, both of those are kind of nasty in my mind, especially the latter. Of course, when the vast majority of people think "gay", rainbows and bareback sex are the first things that leap to mind! It is SO frustrating. I am not sure how many non-homosexuals understand that I have not made some transformation into a sex-addicted, guy-crazy, drug-abusing, "gay". Additional FYI, I do not like the term "gay". I am also opposed to the phrase "I'm starving" as it is a huge insult to the millions of people who really do go hungry everyday.
Wow, I really want to go on and on and on about this subject. However, I will wrap this up for now. Just know that I am so happy to actually be thinking about these things. It is amazing to be able use the intellect that God gave me.
Additionally, there is such a wide range of opinions on whether or not homosexuality is a sin that you can find people to support any belief you have on the subject. My objective is to reach a conclusion that allows me to live a full, value-filled life.
Ok, one last thing. Today I felt empathy for the first time in quite awhile. It was so refreshing and I almost got misty-eyed when I realized what I was feeling. How hard-hearted I had become over the years.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You ask, "What constitutes a homosexual act?"
Let's see... interior decorating, going to the ballet, listening to Liza Manelli, working as a hair dresser...
Seriously, I would consider any act with another man (in reality or fantasy) that involves some sort of sexual arousal whether or not the act is brought to completion, orgasm, to be a homosexual act. So that would include handjobs, B.J.s, anal sex, kissing in the form of necking, taking showers together, massages and so forth
However, kissing other men on the cheek is a common custom in some countries and the apostle Paul exhorts the church to greet one another with a "holy kiss." (Romans 16:16) So, unless it is a romantic kissing hugging such as kissing your grandpa is not a homosexual act (unless you're REALLY weird) or a friend unless it is for sexual arousal. I used to be really up tight about hugging people, now I hug my best friends ALL the time.
Post a Comment